dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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