Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
