you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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