shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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