everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
