Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
