3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
