and you said cock pushups were impossible
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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