I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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