dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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