Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
