i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
