Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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