Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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