hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
