i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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