Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
