i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Your cock deserves a montage
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This is my gift to your gina
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
