When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
