i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
