I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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