On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
