we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
