You just made me feel so damn special
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
