What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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