fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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