Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
