Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
