We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
