Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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