So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
