sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
