I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I need a beard to bite.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
