Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I am naked and annoyed.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
