i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
