thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
