That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
