We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
