I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
