I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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