is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
