Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
