Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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