Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
