FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
