it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
