my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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