Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
