Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
