R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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